The Strength Behind Surrender

Battle after battle after battle. 

Does your life ever feel like that too? 

Last night, some of me and my fiancé's closest friends got together for a bonfire and game night. One of our friends brought his youngest son with him, who has been experiencing nightmares. It was getting late and he was trying to fight off sleep; I think, partly, because he was scared of what might wake him up. As he sat on my lap, drifting off to sleep, I couldn't help but whisper in his ear "Jesus is protecting you. Don't be afraid." 

I just felt this strong rush of defensiveness wash over me, as if I could scare away the scary dreams with just one stern talking-to with the offensive side. And actually, I can. 

I can do that for myself, too, but that's where I often fall short. When it comes to speaking peace into other people's lives, especially children, it seems so incredibly easy. When I watch other people's battles from the outside looking in, I can so easily see God, in all of His power and might, winning the fight. I can see Him so clearly that I feel like I could touch Him. I say "Relax, God has got this!" with such confidence that it's borderline pride. No, wait— it is actually pride. I am PROUD of God and how He can take the impossible and make it not only possible but GLORIOUS. 

In everyone else's life but mine. 

See, there it is. That's my problem. 

God is MY defender, MY redeemer, MY restorer, MY miracle-worker, MY everlasting love, MY sustenance, MY father who adores me. He's not just the God I see working in other people's lives. He's the God working in mine too. And there is power in His name, for me too.

So why is it so hard to surrender and believe? Why is it so easy to tell other people to have no fear, the war has already been won, while I continue to fight on? 

I think it's because I forget the strength behind the surrender. 

When I drop my weapon, when I lay down my shield, when I raise my white flag, there is POWER in surrender.

Because the truth is that the same God that I encourage everyone else to trust in is the same God who deserves my trust. All of it. All the time. Not just when the sun is shining and the bills are being paid and nobody is mad at me or disappointed in me. No, true trust is either 100% or none at all. Trust comes in when it's scary, and sad, and painful, and confusing. Trust shines through when it's muddy and dark. 

I need to remember that to surrender means to trust. Surrendering is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of bravery. It's looking the enemy in the eye and saying "I am not scared of you. You will never win." 

The war has been won. The battles we fight seem so daunting, but we have the upper hand, because we already know the outcome. So why waste time fighting a fight that already has been fought? 

Every battle you've ever been through was nailed to the cross. Did you hear me? Every single fear you've ever faced, every single worry you've ever gotten sick over, every single scar that pain has left you with, was nailed to the cross. 

It's already been taken care of. It's already been dealt with. You are free. 

So, don't worry. Jesus is protecting you. Don't be afraid.

You can go to sleep now. You can rest assured.